Post Traumatic
by Taylor King
Summary: D.C.'s gone and Mimi's alive...how can she live with that?  Set after Heart of Winter...MimiStanley centric
1. Chapter 1

"Ow! God," Mimi brought her hand up to her head. She carefully touched the spot on the back she'd just bumped getting out of the truck's driver's side.

"What?" Stanley stopped attempting to get out of the passenger's side and looked at her. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Mimi felt the bump on her scalp through her gloves. "I think I just found another injury."

"Here, let me see." Stanley motioned her back into the cab. Gingerly, he moved her hair and found the scab she'd felt. "It doesn't look deep, or big. Just watch it when you're brushing your hair." He ran his fingers through her hair and let his hand linger on her shoulder. Mimi glanced back at him.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Stanley would have said more, but at that point Bonnie threw open the front door and was running down the stairs.  
"Stanley!" She embraced him, "are you ok?"

"I'm fine." Stanley hugged her back and then proceeded to get himself and his crutches out of the cab. "My ankle's been better, but it'll heal."

Mimi stayed in the truck, not bothering to move as she watched Stanley with his sister. It was because of her they were back together. If she hadn't gone for help, maybe-. A strange tightening went through her chest. At first, Mimi thought she was going to cry, and then decided the pressure was much more intense than tears. She'd never had a panic attack before, was this what one felt like? Mimi looked down and realized her hands were shaking. She clasped them together and gradually felt the sensations ease. Getting out of the truck, she slammed the door. Bonnie looked over at her. Neither one of them spoke.

"You should get inside." Mimi came to stand beside Bonnie. "Do you need any help?"

"I've got it, but you're going to have to help out Bonnie for a few days." Stanley told Mimi as they made their way across the yard.

"I figured that." Mimi responded sarcastically. Bonnie watched from Stanley's other side and sighed heavily, shaking her head.

"Knock it off." Stanley warned her softly. On his left, Mimi rolled her eyes and groaned. This was not going to be fun. Stanley was in no shape to referee between the two of them for one to two weeks and he was in no mood to listen to them arguing. Maybe they'd get any arguments they needed to have out of the way now and wear themselves out-or so he hoped.

Shooting Mimi another glance, Stanley could tell she wasn't herself. She was quiet, and had been since they'd collected his truck from Main Street and headed home. He kept noticing in the truck that she focused harder on the road then she had before, twirling her hair and shifting restlessly. Something was odd about the whole scenario.

Inside, Stanley dropped onto the sofa, shrugged his coat off and put his injured leg up on the coffee table. Bonnie sat down beside him.

"Eric came out last night and told me what happened." She signed sympathetically as she studied her brother's leg. Stanley nodded.

"That's what he told me. You should have gone back into town to the Greens, like he offered."

"I had to stay out here." Bonnie told him. "I couldn't leave the house unattended." Stanley looked at her and shook his head.

"I should have known you'd say that." He teased. "That's very brave of you, but it was dangerous."

"I was fine." Bonnie shrugged. Stanley looked around.

"Where did Mimi go?"

"How should I know?" Bonnie asked.

"Give her a break." Stanley pleaded. "We would have been dead if not for her."

"I'll try," Bonnie stuck her tongue out at him, "but tell her she has to do the same thing."

"I don't think you're going to have that problem. She knows what she has to do." Bonnie snorted.

"Yeah, uh huh."

"Bonnie, give it a rest." Stanley pleaded with her. "I don't want to know what would have happened if she hadn't been there. She's trying, ok?" Bonnie didn't want to respond, but Mimi came down the stairs at that moment anyway.

"Better get started." Bonnie squeezed Stanley's arm lightly and got up. Mimi watched her leave and sighed.

"So where do I start? What needs done?"

"You look tired." Stanley observed, leaning back on the sofa.  
"I'm ok." Mimi started towards the door.

"Come here a sec," Stanley motioned her towards him. She went to him and settled against his chest. Stanley wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair.

"I'm going to fall asleep." She stated. "I don't think I slept at all last night."

"You'll be better tonight." Stanley hugged her tighter. "Yesterday was a long day, it'll catch up with before you know it. If it isn't already," he kissed her cheek. Mimi clasped his shirt in her fingers.

"Do you want anything before I go outside?" Stanley shook his head.

"I'm good."

"Sure?"

"Yeah." He kissed the top of her head. Mimi sat up, resting her hands lightly on his chest.

"Want another blanket?"

"No, I'm fine. Bonnie's got a good fire going. I'll be fine till you girls get back." Mimi started to stand, but Stanley caught her hand again. "Seriously, I'm really proud of you." Mimi smiled half heartedly.

"I did what I had to do."

"Yeah, you did." Stanley traced her face.

"Can I go now?" Mimi asked, reaching up to rub his hand. Stanley nodded.

"Yeah, go before it gets colder." Mimi kissed his cheek quickly and got off of him.

Stepping outside, she made sure to close the door quickly so that the house wouldn't get any colder. Her back ached from the impact she'd taken during the crash and the cold seemed to make it worse. Mimi glanced towards the living room window and closed her eyes. Truthfully, she hadn't slept much last night because every time she closed her eyes, she saw that shattered truck. Now her eyes wandered over Stanley's truck, parked in the drive as usual, and wondered if it could happen again that easily.

Mimi realized it probably wasn't a good idea to stand outside in the cold, thinking about events that were over and she couldn't change. She needed to get busy, and keep busy, and that would fix everything. Distractions had worked before, hadn't they?

Suddenly freezing on the porch steps, Mimi shuddered as a non cold related chill went through her body. How much more could she take? And how much more could happen to those she loved?

"How's that?"

"Wonderful."

"It doesn't hurt?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"Not at all," Mimi wrapped her arms around the pillow she was laying on and sighed.

"This would feel better without your shirt on." Stanley said.

"Why?" Mimi opened her eyes and lifted her head.

"Because if you take it off, I'll be touching skin."

"Mmm."

"I think there's some mineral rub or Icy Hot in the medicine cabinet that would make this feel a lot better."

"Getting that would mean you'd have to stop," Mimi replied idly without moving. "Besides, I obviously couldn't send you for it."

"You could," Stanley answered, "wouldn't be nice, but you could do it." Mimi laughed softly.

"I'm feeling too generous tonight." Mimi took a deep breath. "Keep going."

"Sorry, didn't realize I'd stopped." Stanley was sitting on the bed beside her. Mimi was laying face down with her face buried into the pillow. Her hair had been parted in the center and pushed over her shoulders. Stanley brought his hands up against and began rubbing her shoulders gently. Mimi was practically purring under him. She couldn't imagine the number of knots she'd developed in the muscles in her back over the last twenty four hours and Stanley's massage was definitely helping.

"God, I'm so sore." She stretched her neck from side to side, trying to find a way to work the tension out on her own.

"I've heard that before about car accidents." Stanley kneaded his fingers into her shoulders, feeling tension. "That the soreness is worse the following day then immediately after the accident."

"Where'd you hear that?" Mimi sounded like she was falling asleep.

"From a nurse." Stanley took his index and middle fingers and began rubbing the sides of her neck. Mimi's breathing increased and she raised her head, nuzzling it against his fingers. Taking his hands from her neck, he rubbed his hands down her sides slowly and then brought them up to massage his thumbs against her spin. "Jake was in a car accident when we were teenagers. He didn't want to wake his parents up in the middle of the night, so he called me. Nurse at the ER gave me all his medical information."

"Mm," Mimi murmured. "How did you get so good at this?"

"At what?" Stanley slipped his hands to her shoulder blades.

"Massages. Did you have to do this for Jake too?"

"Cute," Stanley pinched the back of her thigh and liked the gasp he got out of her. He'd have to remember that. "Nah, I think it comes from milking cows, helping goats give birth, you know, fun stuff like that."

"Ok, that's gross." Mimi raised her head. Stanley laughed.

"I don't know. It must be a gift."

"Were you like this with everyone else?" Mimi's tone was heavy, almost seductive. At least Stanley thought so.

"Everyone else?" He massaged harder, attempting to work out a particularly tight knot.

"All your other women."

"Were there other women? I don't remember." Stanley took his hands from her back and began kneading the tips of his fingers against her scalp, being careful not to knick the scab he'd discovered earlier.

"I don't care." Mimi let her head fall forward again.

"I thought I was the one supposed to be getting massages."

"You will, when your leg gets better." Mimi shifted positions slightly. "Promise."

"Sweet of you." Stanley began rubbing the muscles just beside her shoulder blades. Mimi winced.

"Ouch!"

"What? What'd I do?" Stanley held his hands up like he'd just touched a hot stove.

"I don't know, something hurts."

"Where? Where I just touched?"

"Yes." Mimi flexed her shoulders, trying to identify the source of pain.

"Here, sit up, let me see." Mimi sat up and let him pull her black turtleneck up to her shoulders. In the dim candlelight coming from the nightstand, Stanley could see her back was marked with bruises and a few cuts, including one long one down her spin he was surprised he'd missed. "Here?" Stanley lightly stroked a purplish-blue bruise beside her shoulder blade.

"Yeah, that's it." Mimi sighed. "What is it?"

"It's just a bruise." Stanley ran his fingers down her bare skin. Mimi shuddered under it. The shudder gave him courage, and Stanley leaned over and licked the bruise. He lapped the bruised skin, liking the way Mimi panted as he continued to trace the skin. His hands slipped around her waist.

Mimi didn't want him to stop. His hands and his mouth were warm and the idea of being naked in his arms sounded better than the massage she'd been receiving. Stanley's hands found her breasts and began kneading through the fabric of her bra. She leaned forward, resting her hands on the pillows as Stanley continued to kiss and nibble her back.

She was about to begin pulling her clothes off when she shuddered suddenly. A brief image of Stanley's cold form pressed against her in the Greens' truck on the way back to town seeped the heat out of their caress. Now, with the memory of the crash back in her head, she was anything except turned on. Mimi groaned and shrugged him off.

"Stop."

"Why should I do that?" Stanley pulled her closer and nuzzled her shoulder.

"Because, we can't." Mimi shrugged her shoulders and nudged him back. "Really, we need to stop now." Stanley figured he could keep this interruption temporary, so he complied.

"Lay back down." Mimi's back still ached, so she was content to give in. "I'll be careful." Stanley rubbed his hand in long, slow circles across her skin. Mimi couldn't deny how amazing this felt and the thoughts of a few moments before began to subside. Stanley securely tucked her sweater over her shoulders, leaving her back free. "I'm going to unhook your bra."

"So?"

"So I just didn't want you to hit me."

"Why would I do that?"

"You tell me." Stanley undid the clasp and let the straps fall to her sides. He maneuvered the shoulder straps down her arms, giving him access to her. Mimi took a deep breath.

"That's it." She arched into his caress as he massaged closer to her neck and above her shoulder blades.

"Is that the spot?" Stanley smiled.

"One of them," Mimi smiled too. In the dim candlelight, this was erotic, sweet, soothing and therapeutic all at the same time. Stanley pushed her sweater up higher, working it so the fabric was moving to her upper arms, borderline coming off. "Is that the wind?"

"Hm?" Stanley was momentarily brought out of the not so appropriate thoughts he had slipped into.

"That whistling."

'Oh, yeah, it is. Aren't you glad we're in here?"

"Mmhhmm.."

"You didn't have to give me this bedroom."

"Yes I did."

"Well, you could have stayed with me."

"No, no I couldn't have." Mimi fought the frightening images coming back. "Let's not talk anymore." She traced her fingers over the pillowcase hem.

"Ok," Stanley leaned down and pulled the turtleneck's fabric away from her skin and began to suck her pulse point gently.

"Oh." Her reaction gave him the desire to suck harder. After everything that had happened, Stanley needed the comfort and security of her arms.

He nudged her side until she rolled over and let him come down to kiss her. His hands began tugging the front of her sweater up and over her head. Mimi wanted to, really, there wasn't any doubt, but she couldn't-she just couldn't!

Mimi moved her hands and caught his head with one and his hand with the other.

"Stop."

"What?" Stanley raised his head.

"Please, I mean it, not tonight."

"What's the matter?" Stanley sat up beside her. "Is it your back? Is it that sore?"

"No, it isn't that, I just-. I don't want to. I'm not in the mood." Mimi pulled her shirt back down, fixing her clothing. Stanley didn't buy that. She'd been in the mood earlier, so something had gone off in her head in the last thirty seconds.

"Are you ok?" Stanley brought her hand onto his lap.

"Yeah, I'm-. I think I'm just going to go to bed." Mimi gave him a tight smile.

"Stay." Stanley tightened his grip on her hand. "Stay with me. Nothing physical has to happen, we can just stay together. Please Mimi." Mimi shook her head.

"I don't think so. I think I just need to be alone."

"Why?"

"I'll see you in the morning." Mimi pulled her hand away and kissed his cheek lightly.

Stanley lay awake in bed, staring up at the ceiling. He suspected Mimi was taking what had happened to them a lot worse than she was admitting. Maybe she hadn't been physically hurt, but how much more emotional trauma could one woman take? She had been through everything a person could imagine and more since September. The last thing she needed was more stress and fear. He wanted to go upstairs to her and make her tell her what was going on.

Stanley turned over to fall asleep. His last thought before dozing off was why the fire was still crackling the way it was.

Mimi wasn't upstairs. In fact, she was in the living room not far from Stanley's bedroom door. She was lying on the floor in front of the fireplace. And she'd been crying for what felt like forever.

She cared about Stanley and she was dying to go to him and let him comfort her. But she couldn't.

The images of the crash- Stanley's unmoving form and Jake's trapped, bloodied body enveloped her and swallowed her into some sort of cocoon that kept her trembling, frightened. The worst of it was, the thoughts of their bodies and the damaged truck made her think about D.C., everyone who had to be dead there and the devastation that was completely unimaginable in this world.

What was it like now? Mimi couldn't imagine it without the monuments, the Capital Building or the Whitehouse. The cherry blossoms were gone. With the fallout, it would have to be another 300 years before another cherry blossom would appear in the "Nation's Capital."

So was everyone dead? How close could you have been to survive? Had everything really been incinerated? Had the Whitehouse exploded the way it had in Independence Day? Or was it gone? Was it just damaged, like a war zone, with bodies and pieces of life lying around? Were there bodies trapped under other cars? How many others had witnessed their friends and families dying and tried to get help…

Mimi pressed her forehead into her knees and kept her sobs quiet. Every now and then, she threw more wood into the fireplace to keep the heat moving. Stanley's love, his caress, his affection, it couldn't replace the image of his unmoving form along the road. Or the horrifying curiosity that was clinging to her heart.

Stanley's first thought on waking up was that his leg didn't feel much better. He got up and dressed carefully, irritated at how long it took him with this injury. Guiding the bedroom door open, he cautiously maneuvered his crutches into the living room and frowned. Mimi was asleep on the floor in front of the dying fire.

"Mimi." Stanley sighed. He worked his way to the fireplace and eased down on the hearth. "Hey." He reached over and rubbed her arm gently. "Wake up." Mimi opened her eyes, blinking them. Stanley could see they were swollen and red, but he assumed that was from a combination of sleeping on the floor and getting limited sleep. "Morning."

"Did I fall asleep?" Mimi sat up, cringing as her already sore muscles felt worse.

"Apparently. You weren't down here all night, were you?" Stanley smoothed her hair.

"I guess I was." Mimi stretched.

"Why? Were you cold? You should have told me."

"No, I wasn't cold." Mimi started to get up. " I need to go get the eggs."

"Hey, take it easy." Stanley caught her arm to keep her from getting up. "Is everything ok? You're not acting like yourself."

"Fine." Mimi said. "I mean, I'm fine. Really. Everything's ok." Stanley didn't say anything, but he knew the look on her face. It was the obvious woman "I say everything's ok but I'm lying" look. He wasn't sure if he should press or if he should let her go. If he didn't press, was that the wrong thing to do? Was he supposed to tell her he knew there was something wrong? Women were confusing. Stanley did the only thing he knew how to do.

"Ok then." Stanley shrugged. "If you say so." Mimi looked momentarily surprised, but she nodded.

"I'm going to-."

"Yeah, you said."

"Oh, right, ok." Mimi got up and Stanley watched her retrieve her coat and leave the house. Almost as soon as she was gone, Bonnie was coming down the stairs.

"Morning-what? Your leg?" Bonnie stopped as she shrugged on her coat. Stanley shook his head. "Is Mimi still sleeping?"

"Nah, she's outside." Stanley motioned towards the door. Bonnie looked momentarily amazed.

"Really?" Bonnie considered not asking the next question, but she did. "What's she doing?"

"She went for the eggs." Bonnie's hand froze on her zipper.

"Um- oh, ok."

"Do me a favor?" Stanley reached over and pulled logs from the iron basket beside the fireplace and began stacking them on the coals. "See if she's ok?"

"What is it?" Stanley shook his head.

"I don't know. Just…find out for me? Ok?"


	2. Chapter 2

Mimi desperately wanted to throw the eggs, but she knew they were in need of food and if she destroyed the eggs, that brought them one step closer to starvation. She looked at the basket in her hand and placed it on the ground beside the chicken coop to avoid wailing them against the building.

Mimi sank down onto the ground, breathing hard. She felt sick. The ground was cold, so cold, and the shock of it made her think of how Jake must have felt. The very image in her mind made her want to throw up.

"Hey?"

"Ah!" Mimi jumped and looked up to see Bonnie standing in front of her. Bonnie titled her head, a look of concern suddenly filling her eyes.

"Are you ok?" Bonnie leaned down and looked closer at her.

"Nothing, nothing's wrong." Mimi forced herself to smile. "I just-."

"You're sitting outside in freezing temperatures." Bonnie was obviously not convinced. "You don't look ok."

"I'm just…tired." Mimi shrugged. Bonnie narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Then go inside, rest. It's not that far back to the house." Bonnie motioned over her shoulder. Bonnie watched as Mimi lowered her head and visibly took a deep breath. "Look," Bonnie sat down on the ground beside her, "I don't know why, but for some reason Stanley cares about you and he's worried about you, and apparently he has good reason to, so you need to go inside and talk to him."

"I'm fine." Mimi turned to face her. Bonnie rolled her eyes and moved to get up.

"I'm telling Stanley."

"No!" Mimi grabbed Bonnie's arm, causing her to turn around. "Bonnie, no, please."

"Then what's wrong?" Bonnie demanded.

"I'll-. I'll talk to Stanley when I get inside." Mimi nodded anxiously. "I promise."

"Still, I'm going to-."

"Don't tell him." Mimi pleaded. "Don't tell him. I'll talk to him. I will." Bonnie sighed and looked annoyed.

"You better."

"I promise I will." Mimi got up and scooped the basket's handle into her hand. Bonnie shook her head curiously, but left Mimi alone to do her own chores. After she'd finished, she walked back into the house. Stanley stretched and sat up as she came in.

"Did you talk to Mimi?"

"Yeah, sort of." Bonnie shrugged. "I'm going to go into town, take a few things and see if we can trade for anything."

"Is she ok?" Stanley pressed.

"You'll have to ask her."

When Mimi came back into the house, Stanley was lying on the sofa and throwing wadded up balls of newspaper into the garbage can. As she entered the room, one landed directly at her feet.

"Missed," Stanley frowned.

"So I see." Mimi picked up the piece of paper and dropped it into the garbage can.

"How is it outside?"

"Cold," Mimi called back as she went into the kitchen and put the eggs away. Returning to the living room, Stanley was staring at her. "What?" He shook his head.

"How are the animals?"

"Fine, no problems." Mimi sat down on sofa beside him. "I fed them, gave them fresh water…and let Bonnie do the rest."

"Good for you." Stanley brushed his hand against her face. "You're working really hard, I like that."

"Well, I try." Mimi took off her hat and tossed her coat onto the arm of the sofa.

"How are you feeling today?" Stanley took her hand, holding it gently against his chest.

"I'm fine." Mimi smiled.

"Really?" Stanley began rubbing the back of her hand. Mimi nodded.

"Of course."

"Mimi," Stanley leaned towards her, his face suddenly taking an expression of deep concern, "you would tell me if there was something wrong, right?"

"Of course," Mimi was lying. She might as well have stated she loved Jericho and never wanted to leave.

"You mean that? You'd tell me if there was something bothering you. I want you to feel like you can talk to me. We can't have a relationship if you don't."

"I know." Mimi forced her tone to sound light, and she suspected she was failing. "Everything's all right, Stanley." Stanley stroked her cheek lightly. He wasn't convinced Mimi was being honest, but what was he going to do? He sat up and balled another piece of newspaper.

"Want to play?" He grinned as he waved the ball in front of her.

"It was Colonel Mustard…in the library…with the candlestick."

"You're cheating!" Stanley threw his blue game piece at Bonnie, laughing. "You have to be!"

"I am not." Bonnie smiled proudly. "Am I right?" She looked at Mimi, who was seated to her left holding the Clue Confidential envelope in her hand.

"Let's see," Mimi opened the envelope, "The library…Colonel Mustard…the candlestick, yeah, you're right."

"You still lose, you didn't say "I accuse." Stanley put his cards into a pile and stacked them on the table.

"You're just being a sore loser." Bonnie told him.

"You've won six games, what am I supposed to think?" Bonnie shrugged.

"Your turn." She looked at Mimi. Mimi shook her head.

"I think I'm out." She stretched, tossing her hair. "I'm going upstairs to get an extra pair of socks. My feet are freezing."

Stanley watched her go and then turned to Bonnie.

"Thank you for participating tonight."

"Well, I think Mimi needed it." Bonnie began cleaning up the board game.

"Did you talk to her?" Stanley was signing, since it was getting too dark to clearly read lips. Bonnie nodded and signed "yes." "And?"

"She said she was fine." Bonnie folded the board and put it back in the box. She put the lid on and got up. "I'm going to bed, I'm tired."

"Night," Stanley waved. Bonnie passed Mimi on the stairs and briefly signed "good night." However, to Mimi, her look indicated that she knew Mimi hadn't said a word to Stanley about what was bothering her.

"Want to play something else?" Stanley glanced at the fire and considered if it was burning well enough to keep the house warm all night.

"No, I think I'm going to go to bed. It'll be warmer there."

"It'll be warmer still in my bed." Stanley gave her a long, meaning full look. Mimi wanted to go with him. Her heart skipped a beat. Nerves cut through her again, making it impossible to say yes.

"I can't," she shook her head. "I'm going upstairs." Stanley sighed, his unhappiness obvious.

"Ok," he responded softly. Mimi crossed the room and leaned down to kiss him softly.

'I'll see you in the morning?" Stanley raised his hand and stroked her cheek.

"Yeah." He smiled. Stanley watched as she turned and started back upstairs. "Mimi?"

"Yes?" She stopped, looking back at him.

"I'm here, you know."

"I know." Mimi forced herself to smile. "I know."

Mimi awoke upstairs from one of those nightmares that is terrifying in some weirdly bizarre way. It's terrifying because the images the brain conjures up don't make any sense, but yet they leave you shaking upon awaking. Mimi had been dreaming about rain. It had been a perfectly sunny day, and yet she was petrified of rain. Why was she so scared of that?

And then suddenly, Mimi realized why she was subconsciously afraid of rain. She moved onto her back and looked around, trying to assure herself everything was ok. There was just one problem-everything _wasn't_ ok.

She was laying awake, in a house and bed that still didn't feel right, in a post nuclear world in a town she didn't like doing things she didn't want to do. Why should she go to sleep to have nightmares? She could stay awake to do that.

Stanley was the closest thing she had to something that felt right, normal and real. Unfortunately, at the moment, he was one of things of which she was most terrified. What was the use of making new friends and getting a new start in this world? Yeah, so they were all alive, but was it worth it? They could get sick and die from the flu, they could get killed for food, they could get killed over water; hell, at this point, they could get killed over anything and everything. So if it was so easy for people to fight, to get killed, to die-why start over?

Mimi sat up, wrapping her hair through her fingers. She suspected this was one of those nights when you were half asleep and it was dark and you started thinking about all the things that were wrong and could go wrong and made everything worse than it really was. She needed something; something to calm her down.


End file.
